Once upon a time there was a young girl, as a child she did ballet lessons with a group of other girls, they all lived in the country. Their parents use to take turns to car pool, taking them to lessons in a nearby town, after lessons it was treat time. One day after lessons, an older girl in the group, told this little girl off in front of the other girls who travelled in the car, this little girl was made to feel shame, embarrassment, and humiliation. The reaction in this young girl was to shrivel up and withdraw within. She didn’t feel safe, she felt alone, abandoned, and had lost trust in people she thought she could trust.
Over the years as an adult she worked with different people to clear blocks and obstacles. This image and situation always came to mind. Like many things when clearing blocks and obstacles out of our lives, it can be like peeling the layers of an onion.
One particular day this girl now an adult, was listening to a talk, how we are held back by different beliefs, through events encountered in our lives.
She went to this scenario of when she was a young girl, and thought “I have dealt with that, we have cleared that several times”. Then she heard the words shame, embarrassed, humiliation. It was like a light bulb going off. She was immediately transported to another scene in her life, which was 2 or 3 years after the ballet scenario. She had forgotten all about this memory.
This girl loved to play dress up, loved to dance, be creative. She was the youngest in her family; her sisters were all grown up, and left home. She learnt to play on her own. One evening playing in her room, her mother walked in, she doesn’t really recall what her mother said. However she recalls the feelings, which were shame, embarrassment and humiliation. She remembers a few words her mother said. Looking with an adult perspective, at what her mother said, she knows now, that what her mother said was not true.
However those words and the feeling of humiliation, shame and embarrassment were locked in. She stopped playing dress up, stopped dancing, and was quiet, withdrawn, especially when she was out in large groups. Over the years she accomplished many things. In her 20’s she was on a debating team, and their team won the title for their region. She held many leadership roles, did many speaking events. She worked with people in many different types of work, waitress, supervisor, customer service. She blossomed in many ways; however deep down she had this block, which was holding her back in other areas of her life.
The day she heard those words, shame, embarrassment, and humiliation it was like a light bulb moment for her. She realized those feelings she felt as a young girl, represented, it’s not safe, don’t be you, she felt abandoned, and had lost trust, and she had carried this throughout her life. When she looked back over her life, she saw how those feelings had impacted her life in many areas. By releasing and changing those beliefs it transformed her life. That little girl was me.
What wounds are you carrying around within you? That you may not even be aware of, yet they play a prominent role in your life today.
