Have you ever felt a Failure?

Have you ever felt that you have failed at something?” It could be variety of things: e.g.  starting a business, turning a hobby into a business,  a sports event, partnership, a career, job,  etc.

“Have you looked at the failure as a gift?” You may be thinking “I don’t think my (what it was) a gift.”

I discovered what you often think is a failure, is in fact a gift.

I felt a failure when I started looking at network marketing, then online and affiliate marketing. At first, I couldn’t see it as a gift. I had feelings of disillusionment, not good enough, this is not me, and saying to myself, “I am a failure.”
The feeling of being a failure stayed with me for a very long time.

 

You may have had a similar experience like this story.

I signed up with a company in network marketing. I really put my heart and soul into it.

One day, I was at my sister’s place, and one of her adult children made a comment, that I thought was genuine interest. I felt good and happy that they supported me.

The next thing that came out of his mouth was a joking remark, and everyone laughed. The realization that it was a  joke, and being the butt of their jokes and topic of their conversation, left me feeling so humiliated, ashamed, put down, not good enough, and hurt.  I felt like crumbling, curling up and dying inside, and the desire to bolt was so strong. However, bolting was not an option that day, so I crumbled inside.

Does this experience “Sound familiar?”

I discovered what I thought was failure, through answering the two questions below, I had a light bulb moment. The experience of failure was in fact gifts, as it opened many other doors for me at different times.

The two questions that gave me a light bulb moment, were…..

1. “ What was the gifts, skills or tools did you learn from your experience?”

2. “What if you had been successful in that venture, would you be doing what you are doing today?”

Some of the gifts I gained were –

  • I learnt to be more confident and competent on the computer and internet.
  • The company I was with, were teaching their teams online, and I learnt how to present online.
  • They taught marketing, and many other skills that I use today.
  • Through them I had coaching introduced to me, doors opened for me, giving me the opportunity to become a coach, which I still do today.

As you contemplate those two questions, it may surprise you what you did gain, and the richness you received from the experiences.  Plus you may be doing something today, that you never dreamed of doing and loving it.

If the failure experience had been successful you may not be doing what you are doing today.

What if you stop and look at what you thought were failures, as opportunities”?

  • “ What did you learn”?
  • “What skills or tools did you learn”?
  • “How did you grow from the experience”?
  • “What else did you gain”?

When we  look at the experiences in life, every experience has its gifts,  skills, and tools that we have grown and gained from, and opportunities have opened up.

It’s like the law of polarity.
There are always two sides to everything, –

  • Hot and cold.
  • High and low.
  • Positive and negative.
  • Light and dark.

Being aware that there are two side to everything , then we can start to see the gifts, the gold nuggets, and opportunities. We get to choose if we look at the negative side, or look at the positive side.

The lows and highs are part of life, I like to use the example of the the ocean. The waves roll into high tide, we can liken this  that we are feeling good, and  positive. Then the waves roll back to low tide, that is when we are in the ebb, resting,  then the tide turns and flows back into shore.

I discovered that when we hit a low, it’s like we get stuck at low tide, and forget or don’t know how to flow back to shore.  Some questions to ask are –

“What is the lesson here?”
“What am I holding on to?”
“ What am I not letting go, or allowing to happen?”
“What gift is there here for me?”

Then allow the feelings and emotions to surface, and be aware of the, thoughts, images, pictures, emotions that surface.

I realize this can be difficult on your own, find a friend you can trust.  I use my journal to journal my thoughts, feelings, emotions out.  I do this by just writing everything out, no critiquing, no editing, just let everything pour out onto paper.

By journaling our emotions out, we are releasing, letting them go, and getting them out of our head. Once you have everything down on paper, then destroy the paper.

This next step I do, may be a bit hard for some. However, I suggest doing it with gratitude and not with anger. By doing it with gratitude we start the healing process within us.

I have also come aware to look at these negative feelings and being stuck at low tide,  that these feelings are letting me know something is not right in my life, and they are bringing my attention to it.

Often when we hit low tide, its our thoughts that we are thinking about different situations,  or our monkey mind feeding our ego with stories and not wanting to change.  I find instead of being in resistance to these feelings, I allow them to surface, and let them go.

Then when I am ready I reflect on the experience, and see the gifts and lessons I gained. If I have veered off the path, I make the necessary changes, and then move forward with inspired, positive action, with the feeling of expectation and joy.

Remember that every successful person has failed many times in their lives. They never let those experiences of failure stop them. They  received gifts, learnt from the experience and moved forward with knowledge, wisdom and  positive expectation.

Quote -I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. Thomas A. Edison

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