As you go through life, many things can happen on your journey. Some of the events that happen, you may experience disappointment regarding them. “How do you cope with the feeling of being disappointed?
“Have you been looking forward to an event or something you really wanted? For example, like a new car, or new home, or a holiday, or it may be a piece of jewellery, or a new job? Then something happens, and it doesn’t happen the way you thought it would”. Or you missed out getting the new home, or going on holiday, or the job you really wanted.
The first emotion that may happen is the feeling of disappointment, that you didn’t get what you were expecting or anticipating. Like everything in life, it’s how we perceive the outcome. Take the disappointment, you could go down the path of feeling hurt, upset, angry, betrayed, annoyed, with what happened. This is natural to experience these emotions, and its healthy to acknowledge them. It’s how you respond after the initial feeling of disappointment, many hold on to that feeling of disappointment and create a story about it and feel the victim
“What if you change how you thought about the disappointment, and by doing so you could change your life? What do I mean by this?”
Once you have felt the initial disappointment, what if you looked at the other side, have a different perception. What if you looked to see what advantages or other opportunities may come out of this initial disappointment, and how something better may have happened.
For example – You may have found another home which was even better than the one you missed out. The job you missed out on, another job comes along that is even better.
By feeling the emotion of disappointment, accepting it has happened, then take a step back and look at it with a different perspective. You may be surprised what transpires, and you may realize you are better off.
Disappointment is the way you decide the way you look at it, and depending how you look at it could change your life.
i. Next time something happens and you feel disappointed, feel the emotion of disappointment for what it is. Accept that it has happened.
ii Look at it with a different a positive outlook. Look at what advantages may transpire, that are better than what you originally wanted.
Iii When you look at changing the way you look at disappointment, then you change your life.
For example here a couple of incidents that happened to me which I felt disappointed. In both cases I accepted that this had happened, I couldn’t change it, and I let it go.
The first instance I had planned to go out socially, and had to drive some distance. Checking to see if a friend would be there, and I couldn’t hold of them. I made the decision to stay at home. Next day I discovered the person normally playing the music didn’t do it. This was the whole reason why wanted to go. It was to my advantage that I hadn’t gone out.
Second instance was my birthday, I had various things planned, some of those plans depended on the weather, and a friend coming to the beach. The night before my birthday, I got a ring from a friend to say their car was off the road. I experienced disappointment and realized some of the activities I had planned at the beach couldn’t be done. Overnight I remember seeing advert about a home show. The next morning, I rang my friend and we decided to go for drive to another town to the home show. We also had a lovely lunch, and had a much better day than was originally planned.
In both these cases I could have got angry and upset, however by changing the way I looked at the initial disappointment, I saw advantages come out of this experience. In both cases things turned out better than I could have expected. Change the way you look at disappointment and change your life.
Here is a quote from Neil Donald Walsch
…that disappointment is temporary. Only your thought
about it is permanent.
Change your mind about what has disappointed you
and you will change your life. All disappointment is
just Advantage, looked at from the other side.