I am following on from my last week’s newsletter, which was about compassion and self love, if you missed it,
So Many Are Looking For Love! This is the message I received when I asked the question “how I can help people?”
Many are looking for love, they want that special person in their lives. Someone to enjoy all those special moments, to laugh and have fun with.
To be there as a support, friend, partner, lover to share the highs the lows of the adventures on their journey of life together.
Some feel when they find that special person they will be whole and feel complete. Yet within a few years for some, it unravels, and they find themselves alone again.
Or in a relationship that may feel empty and something is missing.
Or both partners seem to be living separate lives, in one way or another, but all intents and purposes are still looked upon as a couple.
What many forget, and this is an important key – they forget to love themselves first.
By loving who they are and all aspects of themselves. The good points, the flaws or what you consider a flaw. Speaking to yourself with kindness, acknowledging yourself when you have done something well or achieved a goal. By loving yourself first, being kind to you, acknowledging who you are and believing in yourself, you send out an energy that will attract others to you.
What tends to happen, many look at the negative traits about themselves, what they don’t like, and focus on them, forgetting to look at the positive traits they have.
The wonderful talents, gifts, skills, strengths or creative abilities. Those special and unique gifts, strengths, skills and talents that you do every day, however you put a special spin on them that no one else can do. Others may even admire you for those things.
You don’t acknowledge them, you take them for granted, or you put yourself down my saying “oh anyone can do that“.
By filling yourself up with self-love, through appreciating, expressing gratitude, admiring the positive aspects about yourself, even saying positive comments like, “I love you …. I love your eyes, your hair, I love you“, even giving yourself a hug. Feeling love for yourself, you are making yourself whole.
You are filling up your tank, you feel happier, and you look at the journey of life through different eyes. When you are in this place of appreciation, love, and gratitude, you attract the people, circumstances, synchronicity’s, and events into your life, which makes the journey of life more joyful, fun, and many wondrous things can happen. You may even find that special person arrives, when you least expect it.
For instance, if you were planning a long distance road trip. “Would you get in the car and start on that trip with an empty tank of gas, hoping you will get to your destination?” “No, you would fill up the tank with gas first”, by doing that you know you will get there, even if you have to top up along the way.
Yet so many of you are running on an empty tank, and you wonder why you are feeling tired, empty, and attracting more emptiness and negative events into your life.
If you fill up your tank up first, by loving yourself, appreciating the good qualities you have, and acknowledging them. You will feel happier, more peaceful, calmer, then you are able to give to others so much better.
Plus you also receive in return, more love, joy, happiness, and good things in your life. People respond to kindness, thoughtfulness, positive things.
Tips to help you fill your tank up.
They only take a few minutes, some you could do driving the car, or at stop sign, or having your cuppa in the morning or afternoon. Or standing in the checkout line.
Start a good things jar –
- Every compliment you receive, write it down on piece of paper and put in the jar.
- When people comment how good you are at something, put it on paper and put in the jar.
- All positive comments that feel good and wonderful write them down, put them in the jar.
- By having this good feeling jar, when you feel low, flat, or down, you can put your hand in the jar and pull out a piece a paper and read a wonderful comment or compliment.
- This helps fill your tank up again, you feel good about yourself, and reminds how special you really are.
- When you feel pleasure in seeing something beautiful,
- A beautiful scene, or picture
- Or someone winning at something,
- Or you had a good night dancing,
- Or a lovely tasting meal,
- Seeing a great movie,
- A wonderful holiday you had
- Whatever puts a smile on your face and makes you feel good, even wonderful memories
- Anything that makes you feel good, and you experience joy and pleasure.
- Close your eyes an experience that feeling 100% in the moment, regardless what created the feeling.
- By doing this you are registering that good feeling into your subconscious and creating a good memories as well to recall in the future.
- When something good happens,
- Or you have been successful in achieving something,
- Or won something,
- Or whatever wonderful thing that has happened,
- Create a ritual to celebrate.
- It could be clapping your hands, or high 5.
- Be sure to compliment yourself eg “well done say your name”. “I am a super star”
- Whatever feels good in a way of complement that makes you feel good.
- Again this is registering into your subconscious mind and creating a new belief within yourself.
Share the Good times –
- Tell your friends of your achievements, what you have achieved and your successes.
- By doing this you are acknowledging yourself, and focusing on the good that has happened,
- and attracting more good positive things in to your life.
- This is one of the most successful things you can do for yourself.
- Feeling gratitude for everything.
- It can be as simple as “thank you for ………” “I am grateful for …..” name the success, or achievement or whatever good thing happened.
- Or simply saying thank you when you experience the success,
- Or for the beautiful day.
- For your health and well-being.
- For everything you find precious in your life
- Even your home, favorite chair or mug
- Speaking to yourself with love.
- Saying nice things about how you look.
- Admiring that dress or how good you look in that dress, suit, or outfit.
- Giving yourself a hug, and thinking or saying “I love you”.
- Stroking your head, your hair, and saying “I love you” the way your mum did, or the way you would to your child.
- Look for the things you like about yourself and acknowledge them for eg. The colour of your eyes.
- Do something that is nurturing you
Taking a Walk
- Going for a walk in nature, and even walking barefoot on the grass, sand or anything that is natural, paddling in the water.
- When you go for a walk in nature, it can be a garden, park, beach, lake, all this helps create good feelings within you.
- It creates good endorphins within you.
- Give it a go, you may be surprised how good you feel afterwards.
Giving Compliments –
- Giving compliments to someone else,
- It could be complimenting them on a new outfit, their hair, or a job well done,
- Or a success or achievement, it could be anything.
- It makes them feel good, however, it also makes you feel good.